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I guess one could say that my ascension started then stopped when I was born. The problem with being born with key information into a creation as this one, is that those around oneself will take all that you have and give you all that they do not want including darkness of any kind, karma, dreams, patterning, holograms, lineages and so on. Like many others ascenders, I was born surrounded by Anu, pharaohs and sorcerers.
Added to this is the burden of ancestral patterning and karma that we are born with into this life. This really does set the scene for a great deal of difficulty in ones life.
Within this picture is my connection with the Horse Kingdom and nature in general. I was born with many nature kingdoms and so I had, as an innate part of self, many attributes of nature. Nature tends to be on the bottom of the hole as far as humanity is concerned overall. This is generally because of natures gentleness. Added to this was how different I was to most because of this. I was shy, no one understood me because I was not entirely made up of all human makeup. And I didn't understand people very well. I felt that everyone was meant to be connected. All experienced what all others experienced. This is so for nature but not for humanity. So I had a connection to nature and no connection to my own species. Boy, did I have a lot to overcome!
So by the time I was about ten years old I felt very unwanted, ridiculed, unworthy, and all those things that make one feel like one is on the bottom of the sewerage pit.
So this started my life as an outcast. I started drinking and smoking at an early age, got in with the “wrong” crowd, who by the way, accepted me more so than “normal” people. My teenage years were very colorful. And very dark.
In my early twenty's, I came out the other side of this more or less a shell. I couldn't get any lower than this. The only way out was to die and there was something that just stopped me from doing so. I didn't know what it was but one thing I did know for sure was that there was something important I had to do.
I got into yet another abusive relationship and left this after three years with a young son. I still saw no way out and this important thing I had to do seemed to have vanished in the dust. But....I had a small child to care for. I surely couldn't leave him to live with his awful father alone! I remember making a decision on a number of occasions that I was not worthy of being happy and I never would be.
Soon I found myself looking into personal development and how so many people had found relief through such endeavors. So I tried some of that and found that it did help but it wasn't lasting. This led to looking at more spiritual things. This in turn led a driving desire to find that core spiritual teaching, whatever that was.
I found the ascension movement and this was the closest thing I could find to what felt like the truth. But still, something was missing. Then in 2001 I came across the SSOA site. As I started reading I found I couldn't stop. I deleted everything I had on ascension, got rid of all the written materials I had gathered over the years, joined self study and went into group mastery the following year. There is nothing that has ever resonated with me so completely as the SSOA materials.
Everything about myself was there, right in front of me! I read material that explained why I was like I was, not just now but throughout my entire life. I immersed myself so much into the teaching and using the tools that before I knew it, I had changed forever. I started to experience the happiness I had wanted all my life. I experienced joy and fulfillment. And it all came from within! I was releasing the deep hatred I had of myself.
One thing I did learn is that ascension is not easy. It was to start with for me, but the further along I moved the harder it got. There really are times that I felt like giving up. It was just so hard. I couldn't give up though! I did not want to go back to being how I once was. I believe now that having lived in crap is a very motivating way of not giving up.
I started learning to dream weave. Man, this was amazing. I really didn't think that this would work. I grew up living in poverty and could never find my way out of that, as well as the abuse and self loathing.
Weaving a dream wasn't going to work for me! But it did. I started to experience abundance. Not just an abundance of funds for travel and living, but an abundance of love, an abundance of fulfillment and abundance of ascending friends (there were two of them but that in an ascending sense that is a lot!) Not only that , but there was an abundance of spiritual lessons!
These lessons were not always easy or enjoyable. I was scared of having to relive karmic events in the process of clearing until I found that reliving the emotional event is far more easier than reliving the entire event in the physical as well. Maybe I would have given up if that was the case!
The more I released karma and emotional trauma, the more joy I felt and this just made me want to clear more! Yes, the process was hard and sometimes just plain awful, but the “rewards” afterwards was well worth it....
Until I left SSOA believing I could not ascend any more due to being harmful, believing I had to clear karma and learn lessons that I thought were mine.
During this time I was alone. I was not able to have contact with anyone from SSOA, including to have readings from the site. This time was sooo dark for me. I had hit karma that I couldn't understand or see properly. I used all the tools and techniques I had already learnt and nothing was working. I had no help, no advice, no one to talk to. Nothing. So I just muddled along as best I could, getting sicker and sicker along the way.
It got to the point where I felt that there was no reason for me to be alive. How could I be of any help to anyone if I was just a cause of big harm. No point. I would be better off as an ancestor. This way I could see the bigger picture and wouldn't be so harmful and so then I could be of more help to earth and my present day ancestors. I had been told at some point in my ascension that I had ascended far enough that I could die by intention, so rather than try and kill myself by the usual means, I started intending to retract. Nothing much happened at first. But I kept at it. I was determined that I was going to be harmless and helpful one way or another.!!
In hindsight I think that when nature realized I was serious after all, they took some action. Suddenly I had calls coming in for work. I was still massaging horses at this time and the work had stopped for some months. I couldn't let a horse down! One thing I did know was how I could help the horses through massage. Then there were more calls. I had quite a bit of work. One good reason not to die just yet.
In the meantime, not being able to contact anyone, I had no idea of the karma and records that had been discovered.
By “chance” I heard from someone I knew that was still in contact with SSOA. This person wrote to Mila asking her if she would help me as I was so sick. This led to my reunion with SSOA.
It turned out that some of my lineages, karma, information and field had been swapped out by another. I had left SSOA because of something I did not do! I had been stripped of everything and had loads of darkness, karma etc pushed onto me.
During the two years away from SSOA, I learnt many things and much of it the hard way. This is often the best and only way one learns a lesson! I learnt to be more sovereign, not depending on others to get me out of trouble, or for my truth or anything else for that matter, except for information. I learnt that I can do things on my own, particularly if I have the right information. Not knowing the full story makes things hard and often scary. But I was still able to clear loads of karma in that time.
I had felt that I had been abandoned by Earth and Nature. In reality they had not abandoned me. They were there, still helping me out. It was Horse that led me to learn a new skill to help horses. It was Earth and Horse that led me to email Mila for help. It was Earth and Nature that prevented me from dying. It was Earth and Nature that was there for me the whole time, making sure that regardless of how I felt, that I was safe and got the help I needed when it was time.
The Horse Kingdom calls me Nami which means One with Truth Within. This is a big thing I learned while away. That I have my own truth. I may not have been able to access this truth of mine in my life. And I may not be able to access it at all times, but it is there and I am learning to reach into this truth and bring it into my life. I am becoming my own truth in action. I often feel it, see it, live it, and often to a point where others are seeing it too. I am learning to hold on to my truth and not let anyone take it!
I work with Nature and Earth every day, in my day to day moving about and in my work. I work directly with the Horse Kingdom with horses, assisting horses to become healthy, ensouled and to ascend. In doing so, the Horse Kingdom is able to pass information they have learnt with me on to other nature kingdoms that will help them in their ascension. I just love this so much! And people pay me for it! What more could one ask for in a job!
The world service work I am able to do helping Earth and Nature brings me great joy and fulfillment also. I am very fortunate to live more or less out in nature which helps with my ascension and all work that I do tenfold.
When I think back a lot of years, a few years, or even one year, those days seem like lifetimes away, like they belong to someone else. I guess this is how much one can change in ascension. The changes I have made along the way are many. This must be partly from being a bearer of freedom, as I love change, I love doing new things, I love having new clothes (of course) and getting rid of the old. I know this may all change ahead and I may get to a time when I find change difficult. I hope not, but I am prepared to face that if it happens. I am prepared to do whatever it takes and to face whatever comes up to fulfill upon my ascension and my path!.
My ascension is still difficult sometimes as is most. That's not to say its never easy as there are times of hardship and of ease. Whatever my ascension brings.
I am so truly grateful to Earth, Horse and Nature for their help. They are an innate part of me and I of them. I now know that really, in dying , I would have been abandoning them. That was the mirror for me when I thought they had abandoned me. They cannot ascend without each of us and we without each of them.
As Earth and Nature have helped me, I am honored to have been invited to help others in collaboration with Earth, Horse and Nature. This brings me great fulfillment along with the work I do now.
This is my story in brief and if this resonates, you are very welcome to contact me for assistance with your ascension journey.
I may be contacted by email sheree.ed1@bigpond.com
Many Blessings &
Namaste
Sheree - Nami
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